Dedication
This book is dedicated to my wife Nomi who has been an incredible partner in my own healing journey to become the man I am today and supportive of me venturing into the treacherous world of politics.
I also dedicate it to my two beautiful children, to whom I want to leave a world of love, health, freedom, prosperity, and integrity.
And finally, to all the people who have fought for truth and love and integrity and suffered so much vilification and injustice in the process. Thank you for standing for what’s right.
Legal Disclaimer
Everything in this book is pure fiction. You shouldn’t take anything I say seriously. It’s all just for shits and giggles. Obviously. One would have to be crazy to believe any of this, right?
All I’m suggesting is that some other people believe these things, and that if indeed they were true, that would be very interesting.
The content of this book is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical, psychological, financial, or legal advice. Always seek the advice of qualified professionals regarding any specific condition or issue. The practices and techniques discussed in this book should be approached with caution, and if you experience any discomfort or difficulty, stop immediately and consult a professional.
By reading this book, you acknowledge that Calvin Correli and Powerful Through Grace hold the copyright to all material contained within, and it is protected under applicable copyright laws. You also acknowledge that you have not relied on any promises or representations not explicitly stated in this book
Any disputes arising from the content of this book will be resolved through binding arbitration in New York City, New York, with the prevailing party entitled to recover fees and expenses.
Also, I’m not suicidal!
Introduction
“Why the hell are we fighting if we all want the same thing?”
That’s the question that I couldn’t stop thinking about.
Writing about politics is not for the faint of heart. It’s like walking into the fire. There’s no turning back.
I’m certainly not writing this book to get rich. I expect to lose clients. In fact, I’ve already lost one, and the books not even out yet!
I’m okay with that. It’s the price we pay for standing for something. I’m writing this because I feel it’s my duty.
I’m not gonna lie. It is scary, though.
The thing that triggers me emotionally is when people get upset over things I didn’t say and don’t mean. The client that left my coaching program did so citing two topics I didn’t even talk about. She heard some other voice in her head and got angry at me. It feels unfair. It hurts.
And then I remind myself of the words of Byron Katie: “I’ve been spared.”
When people self-select out of your life, you’re always better off without them. Until they come back. If they do. Then you’ll be better off with them again! I love how life always works out exactly the way it’s supposed to.
I’m not blaming the people who react this way. My emotional reaction is mine to heal, and I’m grateful I get to see what needs healing.
Let’s do it, right now, in real time.
Healing the Emotional Trigger
What’s the underlying fear? What is my inner caveman afraid of?
He’s afraid that people I believe I depend upon for my survival will reject me because I revealed my private thoughts. I’ve somehow revealed something that makes me a bad person!
I didn’t know I was a bad person. I don’t think I’m a bad person. But something I said is to them irrefutable proof that I’m a bad person. What if they’re right and I’m missing it. What if I’m so bad I can’t even see how bad I am? That’s scary!
He’s also scared that even people who agree with me will turn their backs on me, because they’re afraid of the blowback.
He’s afraid that people reject me without telling me why, so I never get a chance to improve or restore the connection.
He’s afraid I’ll lose my income because current clients will quit, and no one new is signs up. That I’ll end up alone, sick, poor, and die a miserable death. No family. No friends. No money. No food. A pariah. An outcast.
That’s a scary story. No wonder he’s afraid.
I know my intentions are good. I know I don’t hold ill will towards anyone. I know that I only want happiness, health, prosperity, safety, freedom, power, and truth, for everyone. And yet, my inner caveman is terrified I might say something that will anger the mob, with no recourse, leading to a painful and lonely death.
The beautiful thing is that once you’ve looked your fear straight in the eyes, it no longer has the same power over you. You see that fear is overblown. You’ve seen where it leads. You’ve seen the boogeyman under the bed. He’s not real. He’s not that scary. You’ll figure it out. You can relax now.
I bet I’m not the only one who has similar fears. You can see why people are reluctant to get involved in politics.
Blowback
Some of these events came true for me four years ago.
I posted stuff exposing the lies about COVID and BLM, sometimes with a touch of humor, irony or sarcasm. One of the things I shared was a 20-minute video about some of the things I’d learned from reading Thomas Sowell’s excellent book Black Rednecks and White Liberals (read it if you haven’t, it’s eye opening).
The vitriol of people’s reactions shocked me!
The owner of a PR agency I worked with, someone I considered a good friend, dumped me. I asked to learn what I said that was offensive. I suggested we get dinner and hear each other out. No interest. Ouch!
One day I was texting a new friend with whom I was planning to go into business, and he replied with “Calvin, you can go ahead and delete my number. I have zero tolerance for racism and bigotry in my life.“ Me racist? That’s crazy! Ouch!
At my software company Simplero, we were in the final stages of a potentially very lucrative business partnership, when it was summarily terminated via this brief, impersonal email:
This letter serves as our notice to you that we are terminating our relationship with Simplero pursuant to the terms of the agreement dated May 12, 2020. Pursuant to this agreement, please destroy all company confidential information provided to Simplero.
No further explanation or communication. No replies to my follow-ups. Ouch!
It hurts when people reject me like that. I know I’ve done nothing wrong.
Nothing other than to challenge orthodoxy, of course.
And that might be the greatest crime of all.
After all, Galileo was put in house arrest for life, forced to publicly recant his beliefs, and his works were banned.
At least he had it pretty good compared to the Soviet Union, where you’d be thrown in the gulags to do forced labor under harsh conditions and slowly starve to death amid violence, and mistreatment. Yikes!
We think it couldn’t happen here, but we know better now. Never forget that humans did these things to other humans. When whipped into a frenzy, they’ll do it again. It’s just a matter of pushing the right buttons in the right sequence.
We saw this during COVID where people felt righteous in forcing, shaming, and threatening others into taking an unproven pharma injection. And people on TV said with a straight face that if they wouldn’t, they shouldn't be treated in hospitals or be allowed to dine in restaurants.
When legitimate, honest, well-reasoned, and well-intended political speech becomes this fraught, we’re in a dark place as a society.
It will scare half the country shut up, bow their heads, and live in fear.
For a while.
It doesn’t matter what your political views are, we must come together as a people and agree that we need to be able to talk to each other, to listen to each other, to assume innocence and make a genuine effort to understand each other’s worldview.
How Radicalization Happens
When people respond in the way I experienced in 2020, it’s easy to get radicalized.
I know I had the best intentions. I’m fairly sure I said nothing wrong, and no one has pointed to anything specific I said that was wrong.
When people on “the other side” won’t engage in honest conversation, when they just end a personal relationship and label you racist and misogynist, it’s tempting to just conclude that “the other side” is dishonest, beyond hope, a bunch of “NPCs,” and to give up on “them” altogether.
That’s why this type of response only helps to radicalize us.
I may have been wrong about everything I said. I may have said things that were, in fact, racist. But ending the relationship with no possibility of repair and honest dialog will only make people more radical.
The people I mention may believe themselves to be on the side of tolerance, kindness, love, and honesty. They may believe that I’m an intolerant, unkind, unloving, dishonest person. But there’s no tolerance, kindness, love, or honesty in how they responded.
I don’t blame them. I’m not upset with them. We’ve all been traumatized and weaponized into reacting how we react.
Even so, we have to do better.
All of us need to remember that if I’d seen what you’ve seen, I’d probably believe most of what you believe.
And if I believed what you believe, I’d do exactly the same thing you do.
You and I are not enemies.
We’re neighbors. We’re husband and wife. We’re uncles and aunts and nephews and nieces. We’re parents and children. We’re coworkers.
No matter how much we disagree on politics or worldviews, we’re all on the same team.
We’re all innocent children at heart.
We all want what we believe is best.
If I believed what you believe, I too would believe that that same thing would be best.
Never forget that.
Keeping Silent
Like I said, I think my fears and my experiences are quite common, and it’s why so many people just keep their heads down and don’t say anything publicly.
I’ve had many private conversations with agree with me politically, but are too scared to say that, precisely for fear of the backlash I’ve experienced. They’ll say “this conversation can never come out in public.”
I get it. There’s very little upside to saying anything publicly unless you want to make your life and your personal brand all about politics. You alienate half your employees and half your customer base, and you gain nothing.
I talk to many people who are afraid of revealing their true thoughts and feelings. Always walking on eggshells, trying to suss out the right thing to say. Terrified they might slip up and say the wrong thing, accidentally revealing that they’re bad because they had a forbidden thought. This triggers shame, the most painful feeling we can ever experience.
I totally understand.
This shame and the fear of being cast out of the tribe is deep and real. We’re social creatures, and we evolved to instinctively know that without the protection of the tribe, we’re dead.
And that's precisely how we end up sleepwalking into that dark future.
Many people just want to stick their head in the sand and wait for the whole thing to blow over. I’m sorry to say, I’m not sure it will. I believe things are the way they are by design, and only men and women with the courage to speak their minds will turn things around.
But to me, it’s not a math equation weighing upsides and downsides. I believe it’s our moral duty to stand for what’s right
I will not let expedience and short-term self-interest get in the way of doing what my heart tells me is the right thing to do.
I believe we’re already living in World War III, and it’s being fought with information, not bombs, and you and I are the weapons.
I will not sit idly by as we’re being weaponized against each other and marched into a real-life version of 1984, because I was scared, I’d lose a little money or a few “friends” over it.
The way to sidestep the war is by speaking our truth calmly, honestly, compassionately, and without demonizing “the other side.”
Freedom is not free. Each generation must re-earn the right to freedom.
A ship in harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.
In the words of Martin Niemöller:
First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a socialist.
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.
I believe we’re sleepwalking into a dark future, and it’s our moral obligation to find the courage to act on principle, not expediency.
Trauma
When your trauma wounds get triggered, what’s happening is your survival mind reacts on pure instinct to anything that reminds you just a little bit of what traumatized you originally.
It’s all unconscious, and it happens so fast that your conscious brain doesn't have time to get involved.
And once your inner caveman or cavewoman has been activated, you simply cannot think clearly. In fight or flight, there’s no time to analyze. Survival is at stake.
It makes me sad that people have been so traumatized that an honest and loving conversation about how to create a world that works best for everyone will so easily trigger their traumas.
It also makes me angry, because I believe it’s all done intentionally by some very damaged people, who only care about how it serves their agenda and to whom your trauma is just collateral damage.
I believe it’s been done to make us all easier to control and turn us into weapons that can be wielded against other people just by saying certain phrases in the media. It’s like we’ve all been made into little Manchurian Candidates.
This makes it that much more important that those of us who still have the mental bandwidth to have rational and honest conversations find the courage to continue speaking, and to hold space for people’s emotional reactions.
I want to mention that some “good” things have happened too. People have told me privately that they agree with what I said and they appreciate me saying it, even though they won’t say so publicly for fear of the backlash.
I’ve also heard from people that even though they don’t agree with me on everything (it would be wild if they did!), they trust and respect me more because I say it.
Getting Triggered
If you read anything in this book that triggers you emotionally—perhaps it makes you feel scared, angry, sad, shame, guilt, heart is racing, you feel the urge to label me or put me in a box—I’d invite you to pause and notice exactly what’s happening. Slow down and pay attention. It’s okay.
Your inner caveman or cavewoman just got activated. I get it. It happens to all of us. It’s normal. It’s human.
I’m not here to take away any of your rights, to deny anyone their experience, or to oppress anyone.
Quite the contrary. I’m here to point a way forward to a world that would bring love, healing, and freedom. A world that would increase your rights, your freedoms, your prosperity, your health, and your joy dramatically. A society that would be fairer and make everyone better off. And more importantly, a way that we can come together as a people and decide for ourselves how we want to live.
The “other side” is not your enemy. They’re your neighbor, your husband, your wife, your dad, your uncle, your son, your daughter. We’re all on the same team.
So, when you get triggered, what was it that triggered you exactly? What were the words you read? What did you make that mean?
Pay close attention to your thoughts because they are what’s causing the emotion.
Know that your emotional reaction is about you, and it’s an invitation to stop into more freedom. If you make it about me, you miss out on that opportunity.
That doesn’t mean you have to agree with me. I’m only talking about the emotional reaction. Your emotional triggers are always about you, not whatever triggered you.
We’ll be diving deeper into this later, because it holds the key to not just politics, but freedom and joy in all areas of life.
A Bad Book
You might be afraid of even reading this book. Afraid of being called names. Of being seen as “one of those people.”
Or you might be afraid of changing your mind on some important topic. Recognizing you’ve believed in a lie can be painful to the ego. You may even be afraid of losing friends, were you to change your mind.
That is exactly why this book is so important.
Because it’s critical that we can disagree and still remain friends, still love and respect each other, still work together, play together, and celebrate Holidays together.
Belonging to tribes is fundamentally human. Families, sports teams, friend groups, fraternities, and, yes, political factions.
As part of any tribe, we quickly learn which opinions are acceptable, and which are not. When someone joins a new company, for example, they’re usually quiet until they learn “how it’s done around here.” Which is exactly the opposite of what you need as a leader and a company, because you want outsiders to point out where you’ve become subject to groupthink.
I’ve experienced this in groups on the left, where saying you’re a Republican would get you labeled racist. And I’ve experienced it in groups on the right, where criticizing Jordan Peterson would make you an outcast.
Tribes typically don’t encourage open minded conversation. They don’t say “oh, that’s interesting, tell me more?” Instead they shut down the conversation and let it be known this line of thinking is not accepted. “I’m disappointed in you. I thought you were one of us!”
Getting kicked out of our tribe is scary, because we depend on the tribe for our survival. During our thousands of years on the savannah, being cast out of the tribe meant a painful death. I’ve had visions of past lives where I was a medicine man who got kicked out of a tribe by speaking an unwelcome truth. I have no idea if it’s “real”, but a scary, painful memory was lodged somewhere deep in my subconscious. You probably have something similar inside your unconscious mind too.
You may also be afraid that if you really follow my call to step up and take on the man behind the curtain, it might threaten you and your family’s personal safety.
And it might. I’m not going to lie. They have lots of ways to go after people they don’t like. Many people who know too much have suddenly turned out to be suicidal. It’s very curious indeed!
You may think it’s not worth the fight. And I can’t fault you for thinking this way.
I’ll just quote Edmund Burke: "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
